got a job offer for a gig in berlin. currently they are about 10k euro off from where i'd like them to be.
but i haven't counter offered at all yet.
if i leave i lose out on 2 more tiers of vesting in stock options in current startup.... but... if i go, all expense paid move to berlin + major local company backing me. plus first 3 months in hotel is covered.
decisions... decisions...
how to handle this.
but i haven't counter offered at all yet.
if i leave i lose out on 2 more tiers of vesting in stock options in current startup.... but... if i go, all expense paid move to berlin + major local company backing me. plus first 3 months in hotel is covered.
decisions... decisions...
how to handle this.
what's the job? you should probably do it.
what's the cost of living like vs. SF? did you factor that into your comp ask?
totally. berlin in general is massively cheaper, but taxes in germany for me would be about 47% of income ( that's a pessimistic assessment based on input from a professional ).
but general rent / day to day living costs are fairly cheap.
at 90k i ( with extreme fuzzy math ) estimated a 15+k euro flex budget ( that includes savings destined revenue ).
This is not the fiscally responsible decision ( unless living in germany forever is the goal ). But, life is lived once and berlin is a goal. This may be my best Berlin opportunity achievable in life. For really reals.
It's going to hurt to do more financially than anything else.
But the real cost is... more.
I am 30. Not married. Not in a major relationship. That is quickly causing me a personal problem. If I am in germany come early next year... I will be looking for a serious relationship there. And fuck all knows I may achieve that. And that presents some complexity.
My parents both my mother and father are still alive but... within the next ten years my father exceeds actuarial longevity and my mother is also approaching a significantly risk adverse age.
I have two brothers close to them, to ensure they have what they need from us. But, missing out on their last years is... incomprehensibly difficult. I don't want that.
At the same time... I want and need to live now to achieve this path.
It hurts any way I cut this.
And honestly, fuck the money. I have tried to ignore that pain for so fucking long I simply refuse to yield now.
But... it's .. it's fucking hard.
I am calculating on a more specific level what my yearly budget will look like and I will argue for +10k salary. If I achieve it... fuck. If I don't... also fuck.
They are already at a salary cap I can choose this path. It comes down to whether or not I truly want this to the point I pull the trigger. But the costs are.... fucking staggering either which way I roll.
It's not something I want to choose.
But at the same time... I deeply want to live in europe. I deeply want to experience more of what our awesome world has. I feel I have achieved my engineering contirbution to earth with openstack's creation. And now I want to continue to support it... but, I also want more out of life. This is a great path for that.
But, the cost can be huge.
I will hurt either way I choose.
The question is... which is the right way for me. Which is the decision I will choose and live believing was the best choice I could have made.
How do I avoid regret?
And that... that is the crux of the matter.
but general rent / day to day living costs are fairly cheap.
at 90k i ( with extreme fuzzy math ) estimated a 15+k euro flex budget ( that includes savings destined revenue ).
This is not the fiscally responsible decision ( unless living in germany forever is the goal ). But, life is lived once and berlin is a goal. This may be my best Berlin opportunity achievable in life. For really reals.
It's going to hurt to do more financially than anything else.
But the real cost is... more.
I am 30. Not married. Not in a major relationship. That is quickly causing me a personal problem. If I am in germany come early next year... I will be looking for a serious relationship there. And fuck all knows I may achieve that. And that presents some complexity.
My parents both my mother and father are still alive but... within the next ten years my father exceeds actuarial longevity and my mother is also approaching a significantly risk adverse age.
I have two brothers close to them, to ensure they have what they need from us. But, missing out on their last years is... incomprehensibly difficult. I don't want that.
At the same time... I want and need to live now to achieve this path.
It hurts any way I cut this.
And honestly, fuck the money. I have tried to ignore that pain for so fucking long I simply refuse to yield now.
But... it's .. it's fucking hard.
I am calculating on a more specific level what my yearly budget will look like and I will argue for +10k salary. If I achieve it... fuck. If I don't... also fuck.
They are already at a salary cap I can choose this path. It comes down to whether or not I truly want this to the point I pull the trigger. But the costs are.... fucking staggering either which way I roll.
It's not something I want to choose.
But at the same time... I deeply want to live in europe. I deeply want to experience more of what our awesome world has. I feel I have achieved my engineering contirbution to earth with openstack's creation. And now I want to continue to support it... but, I also want more out of life. This is a great path for that.
But, the cost can be huge.
I will hurt either way I choose.
The question is... which is the right way for me. Which is the decision I will choose and live believing was the best choice I could have made.
How do I avoid regret?
And that... that is the crux of the matter.
that's a difficult post to respond to.
Will you have the time and money necessary to fly back and see them if need be?
One thing I've picked up on from relatives passing on, especially parents and grandparents, is that they are always going to be more concerned with you than about themselves. They want to know that you'll be fine and able to do well for yourself without them around. Tie this with income or travel or whatever else. The crux of this issue isn't about regret, it's about what would make you happier? I say this because regret is always something you can work past, something to learn from.
Of course, this is a wildly subjective and personal matter and this may not be applicable at all, so take it with a grain or two of salt.
Another note... I missed my grandfather's final day, thanks to a criminally uncaring uncle, and what has always tore me up wasn't missing my grandfather but walking into that room and seeing my mom, my grandmother, my aunt, my brother's girlfriend (who is still basically a member of our family, despite them breaking up) all crying, all heartbroken. There wasn't anything I could have done about my grandfather--it would have been nice to "see him off"--but I could have been there for the remainder of my family.
One thing I've picked up on from relatives passing on, especially parents and grandparents, is that they are always going to be more concerned with you than about themselves. They want to know that you'll be fine and able to do well for yourself without them around. Tie this with income or travel or whatever else. The crux of this issue isn't about regret, it's about what would make you happier? I say this because regret is always something you can work past, something to learn from.
Of course, this is a wildly subjective and personal matter and this may not be applicable at all, so take it with a grain or two of salt.
Another note... I missed my grandfather's final day, thanks to a criminally uncaring uncle, and what has always tore me up wasn't missing my grandfather but walking into that room and seeing my mom, my grandmother, my aunt, my brother's girlfriend (who is still basically a member of our family, despite them breaking up) all crying, all heartbroken. There wasn't anything I could have done about my grandfather--it would have been nice to "see him off"--but I could have been there for the remainder of my family.
I hit them with a clean response saying my budget estimates say 90k or bust.
I also pointed out a few of the higher cost problems I have to deal with personally, and said I'd be willing to discuss alternate ways to address some of those expenses.
I figure if it's meant to be, they'll work with me to make this make sense. If not... I stay in SF and keep working at my startup. Which is absolutely fine.
I also pointed out a few of the higher cost problems I have to deal with personally, and said I'd be willing to discuss alternate ways to address some of those expenses.
I figure if it's meant to be, they'll work with me to make this make sense. If not... I stay in SF and keep working at my startup. Which is absolutely fine.
phi I missed my only grandfather who lived to see me born's final week. I was quite literally headed to the hospital when he died. I will always truly, and deeply regret that. There are things I could have done to show up earlier and with that small window... it's hard not to think about them.
I loved that guy. And I am glad at the very least we got to sit down and have some conversations before he died. He knew two years before he died, that he would. He got the diagnosis for several forms of cancer, and he refused treatment. In my own opinion, he made the best decision by far. But, it's because of that decision I didn't get to say good bye. He deteriorated so quickly that I just didn't make it from college back home in time to say good bye. I didn't understand the signs, and I made mistakes in choosing when to leave to see him. That's why I am truly regretful.
But, I have learned that not everyone sees the end coming. Sometimes it's truly unexpected. In many cases it is. In too many cases in fact. I know my parents will die. I know that I have been lucky as hell that they have been with me this long. Still. I don't want to miss out on their last years. I love the bastards.
Still, my life is moving at its own rate.
If it's meant to be the way will open. If not. So be it. Do the best I can with what I got as always. Anything more than that is beyond my capacity.
Still. I am now left hoping i get the email from potential new employer saying... fine 90k, come on over.
And at the same time, i know that what that may bring could very well be bitter sweet. And the bitter component could very well strike at the core of my being.
Life is a motherfucker. Every single god damned day. I kinda understand now, why parents and teachers went through such massive lengths to protect us from it.
I loved that guy. And I am glad at the very least we got to sit down and have some conversations before he died. He knew two years before he died, that he would. He got the diagnosis for several forms of cancer, and he refused treatment. In my own opinion, he made the best decision by far. But, it's because of that decision I didn't get to say good bye. He deteriorated so quickly that I just didn't make it from college back home in time to say good bye. I didn't understand the signs, and I made mistakes in choosing when to leave to see him. That's why I am truly regretful.
But, I have learned that not everyone sees the end coming. Sometimes it's truly unexpected. In many cases it is. In too many cases in fact. I know my parents will die. I know that I have been lucky as hell that they have been with me this long. Still. I don't want to miss out on their last years. I love the bastards.
Still, my life is moving at its own rate.
If it's meant to be the way will open. If not. So be it. Do the best I can with what I got as always. Anything more than that is beyond my capacity.
Still. I am now left hoping i get the email from potential new employer saying... fine 90k, come on over.
And at the same time, i know that what that may bring could very well be bitter sweet. And the bitter component could very well strike at the core of my being.
Life is a motherfucker. Every single god damned day. I kinda understand now, why parents and teachers went through such massive lengths to protect us from it.
amen.
If you do choose to go to Berlin, try not to get boared
I think that's one more reason to move to Berlin ... you could legally hunt boars in the city! (if you can get licensed)
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going to berlin for the rest of the week (for work). did you end up moving there nny?
i think nny's still in the bay area
i am... still trying to get out. NYC, or berlin would be my high priorities.
The guys in Berlin would not come up 10k euro... so i said fuck it, just not worth it. It sucks too cause I was totally willing to work with them on alternatives ( ie, they cover some international airfare home every year ). But they just didn't make the effort. probably a sign I made the right call.
NYC, a barren waste land as far as my tech field is concerned. They are like 10-15 years behind the tech curve. It's freakish. Also tech people are second class citizens in most jobs there. Kinda sad.
We just shuffled management at my current gig, not sure I am happy with the direction. So I am peeking my head up and looking around again. But, NYC seems pretty off limits atm.
Berlin... same.
Why do tech companies always end up in the shittiest fucking cities.
The guys in Berlin would not come up 10k euro... so i said fuck it, just not worth it. It sucks too cause I was totally willing to work with them on alternatives ( ie, they cover some international airfare home every year ). But they just didn't make the effort. probably a sign I made the right call.
NYC, a barren waste land as far as my tech field is concerned. They are like 10-15 years behind the tech curve. It's freakish. Also tech people are second class citizens in most jobs there. Kinda sad.
We just shuffled management at my current gig, not sure I am happy with the direction. So I am peeking my head up and looking around again. But, NYC seems pretty off limits atm.
Berlin... same.
Why do tech companies always end up in the shittiest fucking cities.
after interviewing for a job in san antonio that I could probably get if I work my ass off for a few months before applying again, I sympathize. I'd live in nyc but like you said, seems shit for IT jobs.
berlin was fucking cool.
yeah. portland is pretty boss too.